About Me
IN THE BEGNING
In my early years, I grew up with a sister who always had to be better and show it. My parents were aware of the issues but tried to pretend I was a normal child. They never had me tested, and my mother still claims that she did and knew I was autistic. However, I recently obtained my school records, which was challenging at the age of forty-five, but possible. These records do not indicate any diagnosis of autism or ADHD, despite my mother’s claims.
I have always struggled with the same issues, such as having too many thoughts running through my head and difficulty focusing on one thing. This made it hard to face people and deal with social situations. I often had to act out to make things right, which only made me look like a bad child
TEEN TO YOUNG ADULT
When I was 17, I was thrown out of my house because my parents did not want me hanging out with certain people, including a cousin who had just moved back from Austin. They told me I had to stay home and eat a dinner they had planned, but I was not informed about it. I told them I had to take my cousin home and did not return until the next day.
As I went through my teenage years, I started experimenting with drugs. The downers did nothing for me and made me agitated, whereas some uppers calmed me down and helped me relax. These substances became a normal part of my routine. However, because they were illegal, I engaged in inappropriate activities to obtain them. Despite not being diagnosed, using these substances kept me out of the fights I was accustomed to getting into when I was not using them.
Inspire Yourself Daily
TO THE MAN I AM TODAY
Later in life, I was driving a small golf cart-style vehicle called a Gator while helping my mother at her work with a Halloween event. My cousin was in the passenger seat, and while making a turn, he fell out and hit his head, causing a traumatic brain injury. He was in a coma for several months. This was devastating for me because I had lived with him and his mother for several years. His mother had raised me more than my parents did; she had become like a mother to me, and he was more like a brother.
Shortly after we brought him home, I was put on some new PTSD medication that didn't work for me, which led to a stay in a mental hospital to get on different medication and have it regulated. Despite this, I continued using drugs and tried to hide it. The lying and hiding made things worse, and I was eventually thrown out for using illegal drugs. I was told that if I ever straightened up, I could come back. During this time, I engaged in some really bad activities, including stealing from stores and ending up in jail a few times.
Eventually, I decided to get my life together. One day, while at my doctor's office, I was trying to remember some things after getting into a fight with my aunt about not getting things done around the house. I explained to my primary care physician that my head just doesn't stay focused and went through a lot of what was going on. I also mentioned that my aunt sometimes accused me of being on drugs because I couldn't stay focused, not realizing that those were the times when I was sober. When I was focused, it was because I was on drugs, which made me calm and focused and allowed me to get things done.
My doctor asked me a bunch of questions, and then he wrote some orders and sent me in for some tests. It was then that I was diagnosed with ADHD at the age of 45. A few months later, the official diagnosis came in. My aunt and my doctor had talked during one of her appointments, and she came home and told me about their conversation. She mentioned that she thought I might be a little autistic, and my doctor agreed. I made an appointment to discuss this with my doctor, and he suggested that I wait and get regulated with the ADHD medication first. He recommended finding a psychiatrist to help with the testing and diagnosis for autism.
It took us a few months to find a place that tests adults, and when we did, they diagnosed me with autism, bipolar II, PTSD, a writing disorder, ADHD, anxiety, and depression that should be monitored. At that point, my primary care physician was managing my ADHD medication. We tried a couple of different medications until we landed on Adderall, which worked but wasn't perfect. It worked until I could get the rest of my support group in place.
Now, I have a psychiatrist who has prescribed Mydayis, which is the best fit for me. They are the best ones to figure out the right treatment. Primary care physicians are good at directing you to the right specialists, but they are not specialists themselves. I also have a counselor who helps me with my bipolar and autistic traits, helps me get through my highs and lows, and assists me in working on my tendency to procrastinate due to my autism.
Embrace Failure
Failure is not the opposite of success, it's a part of it. Don't be afraid to fail - it's an opportunity to learn and grow. Embrace your failures and use them as stepping stones towards success.
Stay Positive
Positivity is contagious. Surround yourself with positive people and focus on the good in life. Even in difficult times, there is always something to be grateful for. Stay positive and you'll attract positivity into your life.
Challenge Yourself
Don't settle for mediocrity. Challenge yourself to be better every day. Step out of your comfort zone and try new things. Push yourself to your limits and you'll be amazed at what you can achieve.